Not only that, but what kind of insurance
would he need, and for that matter would he even qualify?
Right off the bat, Santa’s house and
workshop are located in a protection class 10. In general terms, this
means there would be no responding fire department in the event of a fire at
his dwelling or workshop.
While Santa would need property-insurance
protection, he would find himself limited to high-risk property markets that
may struggle to establish an accurate value for his home and business property.
He also doesn’t need a personal-auto policy as his only vehicle – his sleigh –
is for business use (this is, however, a commercial-auto exposure, which I will
address later).
What’s left? Maybe life insurance? I’m
pretty sure Santa would have a tough time finding coverage based simply on his
age and, not to be rude, he would also be a few pounds over the maximum
acceptable weight.
Sounds like he’s going to face some
barriers when it comes to personal insurance, but maybe we could help him out
with his business insurance. We already know the property policy is going to be
a tough one to write for the workshop, but what about general
liability? Santa is a toy manufacturer and that’s not an easy class of
business to write. His products are used by children, distributed
worldwide, and failure of or injuries from his product could be subject to
multiple jurisdictional lawsuits.
I’m afraid that, with the type of product
he is producing and his worldwide distribution, this would also be a tough
policy for him to procure.
Santa may also have a need for errors and
omissions or professional-liability insurance. He claims he knows when you
are sleeping and knows when you’re awake. He also claims to know if you’ve
been bad or good…so be good for goodness sake!
What would happen if Santa arrived when you
were awake or, even worse, you had been good but yet your gift was delivered in
error to another party currently on the naughty list? Without proper professional-liability
protection and the Ebenezer Scrooge of attorneys, Santa might find himself in
some serious litigation without the proper cost of defense being
provided.
Now you may be thinking, “Who would take
Santa to court?”
But may I remind you that this would not be
his first time! You may recall he appeared in court to face some
identity-theft claims that arose while he was working for a department store on
34th
street. The charges were later dismissed, but there were still defense
costs associated.
Now let’s explore that business-auto
policy. We have some big problems here! First, Santa uses a custom
vehicle mainly for delivery purposes and while it’s only used one day of the
year, his delivery radius is huge, he travels many miles, and let’s not forget
about those icy conditions.
Santa also has some potential loss and MVR
issues. The claimant’s grandson insists that Santa was involved in a hit
and run when his grandma got run over by a reindeer while returning home on
Christmas Eve. Santa also had a theft claim when it was reported the Grinch
attempted to steal Christmas. Then there’s the problem of trying to put a value
on his vehicle. All in all, I think a commercial-auto policy is out of the
question.
Now what he might want to consider is an
aviation policy, although he’ll need to go to a specialty market for
that. Maybe we could do something to help with his eight reindeer,
although I doubt there are any livestock mortality tables for flying reindeer.
Perhaps we could try to offer him some kind of equipment breakdown coverage?
No, that won’t work – all manufacturing is done by hand not by machine.
This leads me to another tough policy –
workers’ compensation. Oh my, where do I begin? Santa’s workforce uses
older manual tools and would be subject to repetitive motion and other
injuries. We also have a potential issue as his entire workforce has a
height challenge. Hopefully he is in compliance for that but I’m not familiar
with what OSHA or ADA requirements exist in the North Pole.
Santa may need to consider an employer’s
protection liability policy. Santa has an aging workforce and, let’s face
it, with a diet of mostly candy they could have a lot of potential health issues,
so I’m pretty sure workers' comp and group health are going to be tough to
get.
I guess Santa could look to a disability
policy for himself, but treading across icy roof tops and sliding down into
confined spaces, I’m sure, will make even the most warm-hearted underwriter
still issue a decline notice.
Well one thing is clear: being Santa’s
insurance agent or company would be a difficult task. I guess Christmas is
not meant to be underwritten but to be enjoyed in the company of our loved
ones. So parents, assure your kids that Santa will be passing through yet
another successful year without incident, albeit self-insured, and, in his
words, a Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
